I am on the verge, seriously

I am typing this tonight through glasses with tear spots. I am so seriously on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And for those of you out there thinking I am going crazy, please don't stop me. Crazy might be better than this.

Since I shouldn't keep you in suspense any longer I will tell you what happened. We got the results from Rick's MRI today. It appears that the bulging disc is fairly severe. The nurse asked if Rick had short term disability insurance. Which of course we don't because why would we have bought that when he was healthy? And who would have thought 5 years ago that would be something Rick might need someday? Obviously not us.

Rick should not be working. Unfortunately that is really not an option at this point. I mean, how in the world would we make our mortgage payment? Feed the kids? Pay the internet bill? It is all just so stressful.

To get back on track now. The nurse said she couldn't believe that she was looking at the MRI of a 32 year old male. She said his MRI was really bad. Apparently the doctor has decided to skip all the options and go straight to the epidural steroid injection. We should be getting a phone call in the morning to schedule that procedure. Rick is hesitant about it. And we have an appointment with his doctor on friday to talk about all of this. Rick is wondering if surgery is the better way to go since that would be a one time fix, where as the steroid injection is just a temporary fix.

Since his job is so labor intensive it is making it very dangerous for him. The nurse said if he isn't careful he could cause himself to not be able to walk. The disc is bulging so bad that it is not only pressing on the nerves on the left side but it is also starting to push on the right side as well. I knew that all of this was not good, but I never would have imagined it was this serious. And the amazing thing is how little pain Rick seems to feel. He should be in excruciating pain and he claims that it is not that bad. Of course he does sleep on a heating pad.

This all most likely is caused by all the health issues he already has. Probably a combination of the medications and the arthritis. The crohn's can have some weird side effects. And past steroid use for the control of the crohn's. I don't know.

I guess right now we are weighing our options. I am going to look into social security disability. Maybe Rick will take his sick leave and some vacation time. He is going to have to stop his second job all together which is going to cut out a big chunk of income. I just don't know what we are going to do.

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. I am a little scattered tonight and I feel I probably left some stuff out. I just can't think straight tonight.

Until next time,
Jaime