Thursday, April 30, 2009

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

If you didn't know (and you probably didn't because why would you?) Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready is a spokesman for the CCFA (Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America). He has been lobbying for the state of Washington to pass legislation that would make it law to allow people with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (Crohns or Ulcerative Colitis) access to private bathrooms in businesses that do not allow for public bathroom use. Some are arguing that it is unfair. I say they must not know what it is like to live with a chronic illness. You can find the article about this legislation by clicking here.

Mike McCready isn't stopping there. He is playing the National Anthem before the Seattle Mariners home game on May 19th which is CCFA night at Safeco Field. $7 from each ticket purchased here will go to the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America. If we lived closer and it was on a weekend we would definitely be going to the game. But for any of my readers that live in the area we hope that you will consider going to the game and supporting this foundation.

I think it is great to see IBD getting so much attention here in Washington State. And there is even a free informational seminar about IBD next week here in our city. One of the doctors from Rick's doctors office is speaking at the seminar. We are planning on attending. I like to try to be as informed as possible. Sometimes that probably isn't in my best interest, but well, I'm OCD about this stuff.

Until next time,
Jaime

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Swine Flu

Oh Crap! The Swine Flu has made it's way here. Wash your hands people. If you are sick please don't come over here. Please keep the Swine Flu away from my hubby. He has a weak immune system and can't handle it like a healthy person. Oh Crap!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Normal

We haven't experienced normal in so long that I don't think I even remember what it is exactly. In the last nine weeks my kids have lived with us for a total of four weeks. Rick hasn't been to work. I haven't worked more than 4 hours a day. We hadn't picked our kids up a school once, until today.

Our lives have been so consumed with doctors, pain, procedures, pain, appointments, pain, meds.... Well you get the idea. I feel like I don't have any idea how to communicate with others. All that has been on my mind is how Rick is doing, and then how I am doing.

I am getting annoyed with myself so I can only imagine how annoyed my readers must be getting. I am starting to realize I need to put on my big girl panties and move on with my life. I can't live in this bubble anymore. I have to focus on other things. I am bored reading my own blog. I have to start blogging about something other than health problems.

I never ever intended to become "why me?" I never wanted to chase away readers because we are so pathetic.

So from this point forward I promise to blog about other things. Of course there are going to be medical updates because, well, this is one way I keep track of it all. But I promise to try to find other things to blog about.

So please don't stop following us now. I am promising it is going to get better. Besides, I am starting to feel better today so things must be getting better.

Until next time,
Jaime

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Put it back!!!

Do you think the doctor still has my gallbladder in a jar somewhere? Do you think he would put it back? I would be willing to have him put it back! I would love to feel how I did before the surgery as compared to how I am feeling now. Forget the road to recovery, put it back!!!

Seriously this sucks!!! I feel awful. I feel worse than I did before the surgery. I keep hearing that it will get better. REALLY?!?!?! WHEN?!?!?! I am not trying to be a baby here. But jeez! This sucks!!

And no it is not the incisions. It is an overall feeling of crap!!

How is it that Rick doesn't complain about not feeling good? He must be so sick of me. He must be thinking I am a total baby. I am really not trying to be a baby. Apparently I am not a good patient. I said I would trade him places if I could. Maybe it would be better if I didn't.

Until next time,
Jaime

Friday, April 24, 2009

Recovery

I guess I am on the path to recovery. I am still very sore and I just don't have any energy. But I have been taking fewer pain pills during the day. And I have been sleeping through the night without having to take a pill to stay asleep. However I definitely need one when I do finally wake up; which was at 10:30 this morning. I am very dizzy right now and I feel like I could close my eyes and go to sleep.

I have four very bruised incisions on my belly. The incision in my belly button is the worst. But the one with the biggest bruise is the highest incision. My arm is really bruised too. The IV site and the spot that the nurse gave me the heparin shot have huge bruises.

I am feeling like the recovery is slower than I was expecting. I have had a couple nice talks with others that have also had this surgery and they assured me that this is not a quick recovery. That actually makes me feel better. I was starting to feel like a wimp. I had an organ removed that is supposed to be there. That is going to take a toll on my body and that is most definitely how I am feeling.

Rick has been so great taking care of me. He has gotten me water and food. He reminds me to take my pain meds. He rubs my shoulders when they hurt and I can tell he feels sorry for me. If anyone understands how I feel it is certainly Rick.

At the moment I am feeling quite nauseous again so I am calling it quits for now.

Until next time,
Jaime

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy

Big word for tiny incisions. And no matter how tiny the incisions they still hurt!! I feel like a total baby complaining when I live with Super Man. But everyone deals with pain differently and I don't do so well with pain. I have four incisions in my belly. And they are only held together by steri strips. I am a little worried about how they will hold up, especially the one in my belly button.

I am not sure if you all want a play by play but I will give it to you anyway. So here goes my play by play of my surgery.

We arrived at the outpatient clinic at 11 a.m. and I was taken back to get prepared for surgery. Rick waited for me in the waiting room for a while but I asked to have him come hold my hand while I was getting my IV and the nurse was kind enough to oblige me. The IV had to go into my forearm which really hurt but she got it in one poke which was fantastic! I had to have an antibiotic running because of the proximity to the bile ducts and the chance of infection. I also had to have a shot of heparin because I would be laying flat for a few hours and they wanted to prevent blood clots. I have never had heparin before and that little shot left a huge bruise.

My Mom arrived shortly after that and she sat back with us while I waited. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me about being intubated and I let her know how sick I get with anesthesia. She was very good and set up a great cocktail of anti-nausea drugs for me. It wasn't long after that and it was time to go. I got a shot of versed, a very good relaxing drug, and kissed Rick and my Mom goodbye. I was a little worried because of the run of bad luck we have had recently, but it all went fine.

I stayed awake during the ride to the operating room and was awake while they set everything up. Then they put the mask on my face to breath the sleepy medicine and I drifted off to sleep. The nurse that was taking care of me in the operating room was very sweet and kept rubbing my shoulder or feet as she worked around me. It was very comforting and I really appreciated her kindness.

The surgery lasted about an hour. I do remember a little from the operating room unfortunately. I woke up afterwards while still intubated and in the operating room. I remember looking at the clock and seeing that it was 1:15 and feeling like I couldn't breath. I remember feeling the tube in my mouth and biting on it a little bit. But I drifted right back to sleep and the next thing I remember is waking up in a lot of pain in the recovery room. I was having a hard time breathing so they put the oxygen on a little higher. My mouth was so dry that I couldn't even swallow. I got some ice chips and finally started to feel like I could breath easier. I got some liquid pain meds and some more anti-nausea meds because I wasn't feeling too good. In fact I felt pretty miserable for a while. It didn't feel like it was too long and the nurse asked if I wanted my husband. Of course I did and she brought Rick and my Mom back to me in recovery.

It was so relaxing to finally have them sitting next to me. I must have looked a mess. It feels like I just kept whimpering, but maybe that was before they came back, I'm not sure exactly. I drifted in and out of sleep and Rick fed me ice chips. It was a weird role reversal. It was very reassuring though to have him kiss my head and hold my hand. I don't know if he appreciates that when he is recovering, but I sure did!

I laid in the bed and kept thinking how was I ever going to feel good enough to go home. Eventually I did start to feel a little better. The nurse unhooked me from all the monitors and the IV. I made my way to the bathroom and my Mom helped me to get dressed. I was very shaky and weak. I got into the wheelchair and made my way out to the car. My Mom followed us home so that she could help get me into the house. Which ended up being a good thing because I was really weak and Rick wouldn't have been able to help me. She went to the store to get my pain meds and picked up Rick some food. It was really helpful to have her there. Thanks Mom!!

I had a rough night. I didn't sleep very well and kept waking up in pain. I had an ice pack on my belly for most of the night to help relieve some of the discomfort. Now today I have the heating pad on my belly. I am really sore today and my shoulder is still giving me pain from the air trying to escape. My Mom is going to come over pretty soon to bring us lunch and take care of me some more. Mom's are great!!

Thank you to everyone that prayed for no complications. I hope that you will continue to pray for a quick healing, for both of us ; ).

Until next time,
Jaime

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Surgery is Monday

I am having my gallbladder removed Monday afternoon. It is going to be a laporascopic surgery called a Laporascopic Cholecystectomy. I know I should have posted sooner but it has been a little hectic around here. I needed to get things in order and send the girls off to Nana's house again. Since I will be unable to do much for a couple days and Rick is still unable to do much we decided it was better that the girls not be at home for a couple days. Luckily they are used to it by now so it wasn't too bad dropping them off at Nana's for a few days again.

I have to be at the hospital at 11 a.m. The surgery is scheduled for noon. It is supposed to be outpatient. But I am going prepared for an overnight "just in case" because we all now how routine things can turn into a big thing.

I am not too nervous about the surgery. I am just excited to not have this pain anymore. I hope that you all will say a prayer that it goes smoothly and that there are no complications. I can't believe that both of us are going to be laid up at the same time. It is going to be interesting around here for a couple days.

I am trying to convince Rick to Twitter for me tomorrow. So check in on my Tweets to see how things are going.

Until next time (when I will be minus one organ),
Jaime

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Soccer Saturday

It was a beautiful sunny day here in the Inland Northwest. A great day for soccer, if you were the other team. For our girls it wasn't such a great day. Still no goals. Another losing battle. And poor Samantha tried so hard despite the fact that she is sick and feeling awful. She only ended up playing two shifts. She didn't want to let down her team so she decided she wanted to try and play. I am thinking she should have just stayed home but she had to make the decision for herself.

I did take a couple pictures. So for your Soccer Saturday enjoyment here you go:






There is no game next weekend so Soccer Saturday will return in two weeks. Let's just hope the next game goes a little better, for all the girls' sakes.
Until next time,
Jaime

Thursday, April 16, 2009

His illnesses bring couple closer

by Cindy Hval
Spokesman Review

For Rick and Jaime Wallace, the words “in sickness and in health” have taken profound meaning. When they spoke those words on their wedding day 12 years ago, the 19-year-old bride and 20-year-old groom couldn’t have imagined the devastating series of illnesses Rick would endure.

They met through music. “We were in band together at North Pines Middle School,” recalled Jaime. Later, at University High School, band reunited them. “I played the flute, and Rick was in the drum line.” After football games band members would go out for dinner, and Rick and Jaime enjoyed each other’s company. “We had a lot in common, and we got along really well,” Rick said.

On Jan. 22, 1996, they had their first date. “We’ve celebrated every Jan. 22 since,” Jaime said, smiling. They married June 22, 1997 in the Isabella Room at the Davenport Hotel.
Two daughters soon joined their family.

Rick continued working for Rosauers at University City, where he’d been employed since high school. They settled in Spokane Valley and renovated a 1915-era house. But like many couples, they began to grow distant. The demands of raising young children coupled with house projects and Rick’s busy schedule took their toll. In addition to his full-time job at the grocery store, Rick worked as a percussion instructor at U-Hi. “We’d been struggling a little in our relationship,” Jaime said.

But that struggle came to a turning point as they prepared for a family wedding. When Rick went to get fitted for a tuxedo, he was told they didn’t make pants in his super-skinny size. The always slender, six-foot, young man had gone from 150 pounds to 127 in six months.

It turns out Rick hadn’t been feeling well for quite a while. “I just ate a lot of Tums and ignored it,” he said. “When you’re sick so long, you just get used to it.”

Alarmed, Jaime scheduled a doctor’s appointment for him. Blood tests revealed Rick had Crohn’s disease, an autoimmune disease which affects the gastrointestinal tract. The disorder is incurable, but the symptoms can be managed with medication.

Rick is quick to credit Jaime for her intervention, admitting that if she hadn’t made the appointment for him, he probably would have just kept munching antacids – and suffering.

“It took a little while to get it all in control,” he said. But soon proper medication alleviated the worst of his symptoms and coincidentally, they found their marriage healing. “It’s easier to improve a relationship when you’re feeling better,” Rick said with a wry grin.

However, their relief was to be short-lived. Not long after the Crohn’s diagnosis, Rick began to suffer from severe joint pain and swelling. “One day they sent him home from work early,” Jaime said. “He could barely make it up the two steps to our door.”

Soon, Rick was diagnosed with spondyloarthropathy, an inflammatory arthritis that begins in the spine and affects all major joints. The disease is often associated with Crohn’s. Jaime became Rick’s patient advocate – or as her husband puts it, “my little health secretary.”

His physician added more medication to his daily routine and gradually his symptoms improved. But a few months later, additional blood tests brought more worries. Rick’s liver wasn’t working properly and his doctor expressed concern that he might have primary sclerosing cholangitis, a serious liver disease that affects about 1 percent of patients with Crohn’s disease.

Jaime did her research. “Google was not my friend,” she said. “I was a wreck.”

That’s because what she read about the disease scared her beyond words. It damages the bile ducts, is incurable and potentially terminal. When further tests confirmed Rick had it, Jaime was devastated. “There’s nothing you can do about it – nothing to slow it down,” she said. Eventually, Rick will need a liver transplant.

If that wasn’t enough, Rick also was diagnosed with Gilbert’s syndrome, an additional liver disorder. Through it all, he kept working, and amazingly, Jaime said, “everything has brought us closer together.” Doctors’ appointments became their weekly “dates.” They have a renewed appreciation for simple pleasures like a walk in the park or playing Frisbee with their daughters. “Somehow, it’s easier to just enjoy each other and the kids,” she said.

They found an online support group and learned the leading researcher of PSC works at the Mayo Clinic. Last year with the help of family members, the couple traveled to Rochester, Minn. Rick chuckled. “My first time on an airplane wasn’t to visit Hawaii or Florida; it was to go to Minnesota!” Unfortunately, tests confirmed the progress of the disease or as Rick puts it, “The ball is rolling downhill.”

In an unbelievable piece of bad luck several months ago Rick’s back went out. He was diagnosed with a bulging disc, unrelated to his other medical conditions. “It was just worn out,” Rick said and shrugged. He recently underwent spinal fusion surgery and is recuperating at home.
He’s hoping to be back at Rosauers by May 1, but Jaime isn’t so sure. “The doctors want him to wait until the first of June,” she said.

Through it all, his work with the University High School drum line has provided a welcome distraction. “It’s my home away from home,” he said of the school. “It’s a lot of fun – like being a kid again.”

As they reflected on the unexpected twists and turns life has thrown at them, the couple chose to count their blessings. “I don’t think I would have ever felt this close to him,” Jaime said. “I can’t imagine being without him.”

“You can sit and be bitter,” Rick said, “or you can just keep going. Bad events can make a relationship stronger.” He looked at his wife and smiled. “That’s what’s happened to us.”

The Wallace Benefit Fund been set up at Spokane Teachers Credit Union to help the family with medical bills and daily expenses.

The original article can be found here http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2009/apr/16/his-illnesses-bring-couple-closer/

*a couple corrections to the article are that we started dating in 1994, not 1996. And I was 20 and Rick was 21 when we were married.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Newspaper Article

Our story will be in the local newspaper tomorrow, Thursday. For all you local readers it will be in the voices section. I am really looking forward to seeing it tomorrow. And for those of you that are not from around here I will look and see if there is an online link I can post. I will be buying several copies.

And remember that I have an appointment with the surgeon in the morning. For those of you that follow my tweets you know I had a bad day. I just want you to know that it wasn't me talking, it was the gallbladder.

If you read the article I would love for you to comment here and let me know what you think. Pretty please ;)

Until next time,
Jaime

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

More of the same

I feel like my posts must be totally boring and redundant lately. The more things change, the more they stay the same. New disease, new family member; same family. I am trying to look at things with a good frame of mind, but it isn't easy. When do we get to catch a break? I thought that the benefit was our chance at turning this year around. And don't get me wrong, it was wonderful. But it feels like the roller coaster just continues.

I am now sick and I want to sit on the couch and be sick but I can't. I have to take care of everything because I am the only one that can. I am the only one that can carry the laundry downstairs. I am the only one that can load the dishwasher. I am the only one that can take out the garbage, clean the bathroom, bring the laundry upstairs, fold the laundry, make breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am only one person but I feel like I am doing the work of 6. I have been trying to have Sam help out too, but she can only do so much. I mean she is just a kid.

I guess I am just having a bad day. I hurt and I'm tired. The scan this morning kinda sucked. The first IV didn't work so I had to have another one placed. Then the medicine that is given about 30 minutes into the scan made me extremely nauseous. First the radioactive material was injected and I was scanned for 30 minutes. Then the medicine that makes the gallbladder work was injected slowly and the final bolus of it made me feel crazy sick. Thankfully it didn't last too long, but I have never felt quite like that before. The scan lasted another 40 minutes after that.

The nuclear medicine tech read the test and said that it looks like my gallbladder function is low. He said that it is a good thing I have an appointment with a surgeon. That appointment is Thursday morning, so I should know more then. In the mean time I will enjoy the pain pills.

Until next time,
Jaime

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Easter Eggs

I pushed through the pain and dyed eggs with the girls tonight. They had a blast. Both of them were looking forward to this all day.




We managed to only lose one egg this year for a total of 23 eggs. I have never been very creative when it comes to coloring the eggs. I always just buy the basic egg coloring kit, but the girls love it anyway.


Today was also Soccer Saturday but because it was raining throughout the day I didn't bring my camera. So that's why there is not a Soccer Saturday post this week. The team lost again, but they played a lot better this game. So at least they are getting better.


Well I need to get ready for bed so that the Easter Bunny can visit tonight.


Until next time,

Jaime


Friday, April 10, 2009

Even More Tests

If you follow me on twitter you already have an idea of where this post is going. I had an appointment with my doctor today. Rick went with me this time to hear for himself what is going on. Dr. A is now thinking that my pain is from my gallbladder. She ordered me to have a HIDA scan which is hopefully going to be done on Monday. I will not be able to eat or drink anything Monday morning until after I hear if the test can be done on Monday. If not, it will be done early in the week. I also have an appointment scheduled with a surgeon on Thursday to talk about removing my gallbladder. Dr. A is so certain that it is my gallbladder that she went ahead and scheduled me with the surgeon.

I have also been given some pain medicine to help me with the pain. By the end of the day the pain is so bad that I can hardly handle it. I was almost ready to go to the hospital last night due to the amount of pain I was having.

I can't believe that this is happening. It is almost funny. I did say almost.

Until next time,
Jaime

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

More tests

Today I had another test done. I went in to nuclear medicine for a gastric emptying study. I had to eat oatmeal with a radioactive tracer in it. And an IV was started, that ended up not being needed. I went through a painful IV start for no reason. UGHH! I have terrible veins and I despise getting IV's.

Anyway, I had to lay flat on my back on a very hard table for almost 90 minutes while a special scanner took continuous pictures. Rick actually got to go back with me the entire time after I made a big stink about it over the phone with the tech beforehand. We watched as the radioactive oatmeal passed through my stomach. I didn't end up needing the IV because my stomach seems to empty fine so there was no need to add medicine at the 60 minute mark.

This test revealed no new answers to the question of why I am having the pain. It appears that the next step is to check my gallbladder again. I will be talking with my doctor on friday and I will ask for a special scan that checks the function of the gallbladder. I can't deal with this pain on top of everything else.

It is the same pain I was having back in January. I have been having it continuously off and on since then, but with everything that happened with Rick I just put it on the "back burner" so to speak. But since Rick is starting to get better I need to take care of myself.

Please pray that we get this figured out soon! I need to get back to having a normal life. This is all just so unbelievable. If it wasn't my life I would think it was all made up. UGHH!!

Until next time,
Jaime

Monday, April 6, 2009

I am hurtin tonight

I was so nervous for today's procedure. I have never had anything like that done to me before. So when I was checking in my hands were shaking. I had to sign my name and I could barely hold the pen. The thing I really don't like about this practice is that they take HIPAA to the extreme. Rick wasn't allowed to come back with me at all. I wanted him there to hold my hand when I was getting my IV, but he was not allowed back. I had to sit back there all alone for an hour before the procedure. I think that is ridiculous! Patients should have a say in who is allowed to come back with them. I am always with Rick before a procedure. Granted sometimes they make me wait until he is settled, but at least I get to come back and sit with him. That just made things even harder for me. You should have seen my blood pressure and heart rate. Wow!!

When I got wheeled into the endoscopy suite my heart rate was even higher. They put monitors on me and oxygen. The doctor came in and talked to me. He was nice. Then he sprayed this NASTY stuff in my mouth to numb my throat. OMG, it was so gross!!! And my tongue and throat were so numb I could hardly tell if I was breathing, let alone swallow. The nurse put the medication in my IV and that is all I remember. I woke up as they were putting me back in recovery. My throat hurt and I was thirsty. And I really wanted Rick. But he was still not allowed to come back and sit with me. Can you believe that?!?!

They don't give you anytime to wake up and recover either. I kept getting set up higher in bed. I had to ask them to stop because I was so dizzy. And then I still had to sit there all alone. I kept asking for my husband, and they kept saying no because of HIPAA. That is so beyond ridiculous. I was told to get up and use the bathroom, but I could hardly walk. And nobody helped me; if Rick was there he could have helped me.

They had me get dressed, all by myself. And then they finally brought Rick back while they explained what the doctor found. I have never been so happy to see him. Except of course after his procedures.

So the results are....... We still don't know. I don't have an ulcer, or GERD. The doctor thinks I have something called NERD. Which I don't really understand just yet. What we were told, but I don't remember, is that it is a neurological type of reflux that is caused by my stomach not emptying fast enough. So I have to have a gastric emptying scan done on wednesday. It is a nuclear scan that watches how fast/slow my stomach empties the food. It will take at least 2 hours. And it is done within the same practice, just a different facility, so Rick won't be allowed to be with me AGAIN. He is still coming, and maybe we can convince them to let him sit with me. But I am not getting my hopes up.

I guess I don't really have a lot of answers for you tonight. I am hurting pretty bad from the air that is trapped in my stomach from the procedure. For some reason it feels like it has gotten trapped under my ribs and it hurts really bad!! I am sitting with a heating pad on my stomach to try and help relieve the pain. I also have a pretty sore throat from the scope. All in all, I feel really crappy.

I have a new appreciation for what Rick has to go through. He says this is the easiest of the procedures he has to go through. If this is the easiest I feel really bad for him!! This is no fun at all! Maybe I am just a baby.

Until next time,
Jaime

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Waiting Room

I despise waiting rooms. The sense of dread I feel while waiting in them has begun to cause me great stress. The very first waiting room I sat in waiting for Rick was when he was getting his first colonoscopy. I was so scared because we had no idea what was wrong with him at that time. Since then I have waited in probably close to a hundred, or maybe more, waiting rooms for all kinds of different procedures, tests, or appointments. The longest wait was during the spinal fusion surgery. And that was probably the hardest wait yet. But the worry is always the same. The wondering and stress is always the same. I always have the same feeling of butterflies in my stomach and usually I don't even realize that I shake my legs. I can't help it. I have just had bad news too many times.

I could describe what the waiting rooms look like. Where the clocks are on the walls. Where the best place to sit is. I usually stare at the paintings on the wall. I can remember listening to the TV's but not remembering what I was actually listening too. I usually try to read something, but most of the time I don't even remember what I read.

I really despise waiting rooms.

Now the tables are about to turn. I wonder how Rick will like waiting in the waiting room. I wonder if he will be as nervous as I am when I wait for him.

I think that I am just as nervous for my own procedure as I am when Rick has procedures. I have never had anything like this done before. I have never had "conscious sedation." I hate procedures, and waiting rooms, and IV's, and the anticipation of the unknown.

Until next time,
Jaime

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Soccer Saturday

It's that time of year again. Time to load up the mini van with lawn chairs and blankets. Fill up the water bottles. Tie up the cleats and grab the soccer ball. Pile in the van and head to the soccer field. It's time to sit in the cold. Scream, yell, and cheer for the white team. Cringe when they get scored on (numerous times). And try to tell them how good they did even when they got clobbered. It's time to be a Soccer Mom.


She may have lost but she is awfully cute!!

Until next time,

Jaime

Friday, April 3, 2009

It's My Turn

Guess What?!?! It's my turn now to have a procedure done. I saw my doctor today and she is really concerned about me. I am still having stomach pains and she thinks it is an ulcer. So she wants me to have an EGD ASAP. I am going in on monday afternoon for an upper endoscopy. So now the caretaker becomes the patient. But only for one afternoon. I wonder if they can give me less drugs so that I can take care of Rick later that night.

I was given a nice talk about how I really need to be taking care of myself too. I already knew that but it is really hard to focus on myself when I have other things to take care of. This may be a bit of a wake up call though.

I am worried about Rick having to sit in the waiting room. He is still in pain and sitting in chairs is really uncomfortable. But he insists he will be okay. I am more worried about him than me. How will he be able to take care of me? This is gonna be interesting.

Until next time,
Jaime

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Tired

I Am Tired

I am tired of doing laundry.
I am tired of letting the dog out every two minutes.
I am tired of having a headache.
I am tired of the kids not picking up.
I am tired of listening to the same music blaring out of Megan's room.
I am tired of the kids fighting.
I am tired of doing dishes.
I am tired of picking up after everyone.
I am tired of doctor's appointments.
I am tired of worrying about my husband.
I am tired of explaining what is wrong with my husband.
I am tired of struggling with what is happening.

I Am Tired

But....

I Am Grateful

I am grateful for a wonderful husband.
I am grateful for two adorable daughters.
I am grateful for a supportive family.
I am grateful for having a nice house.
I am grateful for medical insurance.
I am grateful for wonderful friends.
I am grateful for a loving marriage.

I Am Grateful

But still I am tired.

Until next time,
Jaime